


breakfast over sugar

by exexlovers (orphan_account)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Derealization, F/F, Maybe - Freeform, Pining, Post-Break Up, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 06:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20271562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/exexlovers
Summary: what would you do if your ex-fiancée showed up on your doorstep?





	breakfast over sugar

**Author's Note:**

> hi. i know i've never posted for this fandom on this account but i hope it's welcomed. i haven't written for them in a while.
> 
> enjoy it. i did.

This wasn’t heartbreak.

  


It was a lot worse.

  


It was like a part of her had broken off and shriveled up.

  


Maggie did her best to remove any trace of herself out of Alex’s apartment, but she wasn’t perfect. Alex would find hair products under her sink and bottles of alcohol in her cupboard and clothing under her bed.

  


Alex sat on the floor next to her bed. Kara had tried to get her to clean after reading some study that linked messy living spaces to depression, but it wasn’t helping. If anything, the action just made her feel more numb. It intensified the persistent yet dull pulse of pain in her heart.

  


She missed having another heartbeat in her home. She missed the smell of coffee filling the kitchen before she had even woken up. She missed seeing Maggie in her clothes.

  


Maggie had taken the orange “Hello, Sunshine” shirt with her. Either that or it was lost. Maybe Maggie had hoped Alex wouldn’t notice.

  


Alex pulled a pile of clothes out from under her bed. She identified her own shirts and socks until she made it to the last stitching of fabric.

  


This was Maggie’s sweatshirt. The same one that brought out the highlights in her hair. The one she only wore with her heart-patterned pajama bottoms.

  


Alex felt all the air leave her body before she heard it. Tears stung her eyes. She really couldn’t let go.

  


How could you let go of the love of your life?

  


Without a second thought, she traded her ratty black t-shirt for Maggie’s soft, perfect, gentle sweatshirt.

  


Whatever the smell of home was supposed to be, it should smell like Maggie.

  


She took a deep breath and tightened her half-up ponytail. The fact that she was supposed to  _ get over this  _ was ludicrous.

  


How was it possible to forget the woman who helped her realize her childhood crushes on cartoon girls weren’t normal for a straight girl? How was she meant to forget who had changed her life?

  


She pressed her sleeve to her face, inhaling as she stood up.

  


The story was over. Her love story was over. And she was supposed to let go.

  


She tugged open her fridge and slid out a beer. Kara had been gracious enough to leave her a whole container of potstickers yesterday. Maybe she should eat those.

  


Her apartment was nearing clean, but Alex didn’t feel any better.

  


_ Bullshit study, _ she thought.  _ Fuck science. _

  


Her curtains danced in the night breeze. Would fresh air do anything for a shattered heart?

  


She tried it. She gazed onto the lights of National City. She watched cars pass her balcony. She listened to children squeal and watched couples brighten with laughter.

  


Nothing. Feelings were void. The only thing that might give her feeling was Maggie’s touch.

  


Alex took a swig of her drink and scowled at the pavement under her.

  


She heard someone knock on her door.

  


“I’m over here, Kara. Just…” she sighed mid-sentence. “Fly over here.”

  


There was no whoosh of air next to her.

  


Alex stepped back into her apartment and padded over to her door. “...Kara?”

  


More knocks sounded through her apartment, persistent now. If not Kara, who in the world would be looking for her?

  


Alex pulled her door open, prepared to throw her glass bottle.

  


Instead, she choked on air. Her heart skipped a beat.

  


“Hey, Danvers.” Maggie stood in front of her, her hair in a bun. She laughed nervously. “Nice sweatshirt.”

  


“I’m dreaming.” Alex whispered, her vision clouding.

  


Maggie tilted her head. “No, um. Sorry. I had a place to move into but they cancelled, and the friend I was staying with kicked me out, so I have nowhere tonight. You’re my last resort.”

  


That stung. Alex knew it was true. She knew they were broken up. She was the one who made the decision. But not being a priority to Maggie anymore hurt.

  


“Alex?”

  


Alex blinked and scratched her forehead. “Right, sure. That sucks, ba- Maggie. Come in. I just cleaned.”

  


“Wow.” Maggie said, that seductive lilt in her voice coming out. “Alex cleaning.”

  


“Are you okay? Like, do you have somewhere to go later on?”

  


Maggie perched onto a stool across the kitchen counter. “Yeah. My friend is at least letting me keep my stuff there. I’m sorry for coming in like this. I don’t mean to interrupt any healing process. I just really have nowhere to sleep tonight. All my money is budgeted and I can’t get a hotel room. And this is the last place that felt like home.”

  


Alex chugged her beer, hearing Maggie sigh at the action. “‘Kay, um. Make yourself comfortable. Take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch. I’m gonna shower.”

  


“Sure. Thank you, Ally.”

  


“Yeah! Yeah.” she swerved into her bathroom.

  


Parting with the sweatshirt wasn’t very fun. She hung it on the towel rack so it wouldn’t get soiled by the floor. The rest of her clothes came off easy.

  


She didn’t really need to shower; her day at work was largely spent indoors. But it came without question that she needed to give herself a minute to let what had just happened sink in.

  


Maggie was in her  _ house. _ Months after they broke up. 

  


Alex groaned inwardly at how smitten she still was. She turned on the shower and let the water massage her shoulders. 

  


Her mind grew blank with the smell of shampoo and lilacs.

* * *

  


She walked out in pajamas to Maggie already curled up in bed.

  


Which was surreal. She had already fallen asleep, her bun taken down and the hair tie on her wrist. Sleep made her look peaceful despite the fact that she must be feeling as intensely as Alex.

  


The resemblance of how it used to be almost made Alex sob.

  


_ It’s not the same,  _ she told herself.  _ It never will be. _

  


That didn’t stop her from sitting precariously on the edge of the bed, brushing Maggie’s hair off of her face, and pressing the gentlest kiss to her forehead.

  


She sat on the couch in fetal position, winding the decorative blanket around her shoulders. It was best if she slept before she started overthinking more. So, with a longing gaze towards her ex-fiancée, she laid down and closed her eyes.

  


* * *

  


Coffee woke her up. Like how it used to be.

  


Despite the smell, her mind panicked.

  


_ What if Maggie had already left? In and out, just like that? _

  


Alex opened her eyes to Maggie twirling around her kitchen. She sat up.

  


Maggie leaned on the kitchen counter, holding the creamy mess she called coffee to her face. “Good morning, Agent Alex Danvers.”

  


Her morning voice was the same. Soft and thoughtful and hopeful.

  


“To you too, Detective Maggie Sawyer.” The reminder of the old greeting almost made her smile. Almost.

  


Too quick she was reminded of the loss she would succumb to in a few hours. Too quick she was reminded that this wasn’t forever and it’s not the same.

  


“I noticed you have tea more often. I assumed you make it the same as your coffee.”

  


Remembering was expected. It was slim chances that Maggie would have forgotten the details of the relationship of a lifetime. But it still felt good and validating.

  


Alex nodded, moving the blanket around her shoulders like a cape and trailing over to the kitchen island. She reached for the teal mug.

  


“Um.” Wow, Alex had really forgotten how to talk to her again. “Did you sleep okay?”

  


“Your bed has always been comfortable, Alex. I even remembered to make it.”

  


Alex laughed. She missed this. “We’re both doing new things.”

  


Maggie smirked and sipped her coffee. “It’s weird to be back here.”

  


“I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking that.” she hopped onto a kitchen stool.

  


They drank in silence for a moment. Alex studied her tea before taking a sip. Maggie had always done something special to make her morning drinks better than Alex ever could. Maybe it was how long she let the tea steep.

  


“Maggie?”

  


“Yeah?”

  


“I love you.”

  


Maggie smiled sadly. “I… yeah. I love you too.”

  


She was in her own shirt this morning. No warm orange. Just black sweatpants and a nondescript grey tee.

  


“I can’t stay here, Alex. I have places to be, sweetheart.”

  


The pet name sent a thrill through her body. “I know, I know.”

  


Maggie rinsed her mug in the sink, then walked around to Alex. “I’m sorry.”

  


Alex felt tears run down her cheeks. She swiped at them. “No, I-I get it.”

  


To be honest, she didn’t. She completely understood  _ why  _ they had broken up. That didn’t mean she understood all of the inner workings.

  


Maggie wrapped her arms around her, just like Alex had dreamed last night. “I have to go.”

  


Alex sat back up and swirled her tea. Maggie placed her hands on Alex’s shoulders so they faced each other. She watched tears track down Alex’s face.

  


Quick enough that Alex barely registered it, Maggie kissed her.

  


Her lips tasted like sugar. That was the only way to describe it.

  


“Please drink your tea before it’s cold.” And then, like a witch with the flick of her cape, Maggie was gone again.

  


Alex had lost once again.

**Author's Note:**

> so maggie canonically drinks black coffee but shhh for the sake of art let me have this
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated!!


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